Back In The Hospital

Dr. Suess, in his book. You're Only Old Once, stated, "Getting old is not for sissies" was quite right. This year I've been to the hospital three times and two of those were through the emergency room.


As of Sunday my bowel movements were full of what medical professionals call frank blood and tarry stool. I think that Frank Blood would be a great name for the hero in a detective novel. Frank Blood investigates the Tarry Stool Murders. Too bad Dashell Hammit and Damon Runyon are around any more.

But I digress. I was somewhat concerned, but thanks to Google, I looked up adverse symtoms of Coumadin and was convinced that was what was wrong with me. So my wife called the doctor early on Monday morning as I was getting ready for work. I was about to leave when the phone rang. I was told to go to the emergency room STAT, which is the medical term for ASAP.

Man was I an unhappy boy.

So I arrived at Saint Elizabeth's emergency room and fitted with a extra large size stretcher and as is customary, stabbed mulitple times to determine the exact color of my blood, which turns out to be somewhere between brickdust #15 and burmese ruby.

I was also treated to experiencing the sensation of a naso-gastric tube. This is an unpleasant procedure wherein a clear tube is inserted in one of your nares, the medical term for nose hole. The tube is then forced up your nose hole and into your stomach. The contents of the stomach are sucked out into a clear plastic cylinder for the viewing pleasure of the hospital staff.

Thankfull I didn't have any blood in my stomach contents. If I did they would have left the tube hanging out of my nostril.

I then was visited by 4 doctors. One doctor had me take off my pants and he used his gloved finger as a dipstick into my hinder and commented, "Oh that's blood alright."

I was whisked off to a room and fitted with a hospital gown. I then was stuck four or five more times by folks that had never seen burmese ruby mixed with brickdust #15. They carted it off in little vials as souveniers of their visit. I was told that my hemoglobin was at 11. Which was sort of low. I'm thinking between the bowel movements and the folks draining me, there is no doubt it would be at 11.

After this it was hurry up and wait. I had a delicious clear liquid diet. Not only did I enjoy chicken broth, but beef broth as well. I had a variety of green, red and yellow Jello.

There was a Marion Davies film festival on The Movie Channel that was pretty interesting. She was a comedic actress that started working in silent movies. Sleep was out of the question.


The noise level of a hospital is pretty close to what you would hear at an Aerosmith concert only slightly louder and more annoying.





The latest invention by Hilldenbrand Industries, ticker symbol HB, is the farting mattress. This feature is exclusive to hospital beds.

To prevent bedsores, medical term would be decubidus ulcers, Hildrenbrand has created a mattress that continually changes positions when anything is set upon it, such as a sheet or a blanket or you. This sounds like a marvelous creation. However the drawback is that once every 30 seconds the mattress emits a sound similar to a whoppee cushion.

So between the racket in the hall and the farting mattress, there is no way to get any sleep at a hospital.

I was told by my nurse that I was scheduled for an espophagogatroduodenoscopy, the medical term for sticking a hose with a camera down your food chute. I was to be anesthetized for this, so I would not feel any discomfort. I asked when this was to take place. The nurse said the doctor had me scheduled after his normal patients. This meant either he would do it late or perhaps I was the beggining of his abnormal patients. Communications obviously were not a priority.


After a sleepless night of watching lightening from my window, filling up the urinal five times (which I actually did) and watching more Marion Davies movies I was visited at about 7 am by my morning nurse and my morning nurse assistant for the complimentary squeezing of the arm, temperature taking, finger poking and blood letting. I was told they needed to do this quickly as the stretcher bearer was here to take me for my procedure. The doc must have worked really fast or his normal patients didn't show up.


So I rode down the hall and up the elevator to the Endoscopy room and was wheeled into a very cluttered cubical. There were several TV monitors none of which were tuned to the Marion Davies festival.

The camera at the end of a scope that was about a meter long was focused on a box of aloe-enhanced surgical gloves, which must have been the doctor's sponsor.

A nurse asked me several questions in a loud voice that sounded like she was used to dealing with geezers, the medical term being geriatric patients. I was asked to open wide as she sprayed something in my mouth. I don't think it was Binaca, because the back of my tongue became numb.

The next thing I recall was the ceiling was spinning. I then recall waking up in another corridor. I was then told some things that I cannot recall because I was focusing on the revolving ceiling tiles at the time. Then it was a quick ride back to my room and more of the film festival. Peg O' My Heart, featuring Miss Davies as Peg, was just starting. Soon after this the house doctor came in an explained that I have several bleeding ulcers in my stomach and a lesion in my esophagus. He didn't really relate how this was affecting my poo. I wasn't questioning him either and don't really recall a whole lot of the conversation as I was still a little tipsy.


My wife came and I explained what I knew to her. She was rather upset that she missed the TV episode of INSIDE MARC, brought to you by Nutricel Aloe Surgical Gloves that leave your hands soft and pleasant smelling. She wasn't at all interested in watching Marion Davies movies.



I was then given my discharge papers from the morning nurse. My IV was removed and I was told that I could put on my clothes and go home. Which I did in record time. Linny and I went to Applebees for some non-clear liquid food.

When our nurse...I mean waitress asked if I would like onions and jalepenos in my chili I started to say Yes, when Linny said, "What are you crazy?" I said, "Just cheese please."

I was still sort of tipsy.

Desecrated Bible

From the AFP – Christian Post - Telegraph Co UK

Christians voiced anger and dismay Tuesday after a Bible, which was part of an exhibition inviting viewers to add their reflections, was defaced with offensive and foul-mouthed scrawl.

Glasgow's Gallery of Modern Art has decided to put the Bible in a glass case after the exhibit, called Untitled 2009 and part of a show entitled Made in God's Image, was vandalized.

Artist Jane Clarke, a minister at the Metropolitan Community Church, asked visitors to annotate the Bible with stories and reflections, as a way of making it more inclusive.

But visitors to the gallery took the invitation a bit further than she had anticipated.

The open Bible is a central part of Made in God’s Image, an exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art in Glasgow, United Kingdom. By the book is a container of pens and a notice saying: “If you feel you have been excluded from the Bible, please write your way back into it.”

The Times newspaper reported that the publicly funded exhibition ‘Untitled 2009,’ was proposed by the Metropolitan Community Church, which said that the idea was to reclaim the Bible as a sacred text.

But to the horror of many Christians, including the community church, visitors have daubed its pages with comments such as “This is all sexist pish, so disregard it all.” A contributor wrote on the first page of Genesis: “I am Bi, Female & Proud. I want no god who is disappointed in this.”

One writer has altered the first line of the Old Testament from “In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth” to “In the beginning, God (me) I created religion.”


Another has written “The Gospel According to Luke Skywalker”.

The main sentiment, however, is rage at Christianity. “F*** the Bible”, one message says. And another described the Bible as "the biggest lie in human history" and a third wrote: "Mick Jagger and David Bowie belong in here”

The official Web site of the exhibition stated that the exhibition has been created by the artists Anthony Schrag and David Malone, in with organizations representing gay Christians and Muslims. Mr. Schrag, the gallery’s artist in residence, told the Times that he did not believe in God, but that his research for the 7,000 Euros show had underlined his respect for people of faith.

A video by Roxanne Claxton that forms a second element in the exhibition shows a young woman ripping pages out of the Bible and stuffing them in her knickers and bra and in her mouth in a program to promote equal rights for homosexuals. The film showed “the word as power,” Mr Schrag said. “Roxanne gave a performance where she ate a Bible and it became part of her.”

Some Christians are surprised that Schrag and Malone who have explored faith and sexuality with members of The Metropolitan Community Church, Quest, Al Jannah Muslim Group and individuals from a range of faiths, including members of St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow before the event were even permitted by the Church to carry out such exhibition.

However, Jane Clarke, the minister at the Metropolitan Community Church and artist involved in the bible exhibit said, “Writing our names in the margins of a Bible was to show how we have been marginalised by many Christian churches, and also our desire to be included in God’s love. As a young Christian I was encouraged by my church to write my own insights in the margins of the Bible I used for my devotions – this was an extension of that idea.”

“As a young Christian I was encouraged by my church to write my own insights in the margins of the Bible I used for my daily devotions – this was an extension of that idea. I still have that Bible, although it’s rather tatty now,” she clarified her position through the official Web site of the exhibition.

She added, “It was never my intention to offend anyone – believers and non-believers alike. I had hoped that people would show respect for the Bible, for Christianity and indeed for the Gallery of Modern Art. I am saddened that some people have chosen to write offensive messages.”

Ms Clarke has requested changes to the exhibit. The bible remains on display, but within an enclosed case, the official Web site stated.

On another plinth next to it are loose leaf sheets and pens for visitors to write their thoughts and feelings in relation to the bible. Those loose sheets will be inserted within the pages of the bible by curatorial staff each day, the statement stated.

The Church of Scotland said it condemned any sacrilegious act. “We would discourage anyone from defacing the Bible,” a Kirk spokesman told the Times.

A spokesman for the Catholic Church said: “One wonders whether the organizers would have been quite as willing to have the Koran defaced.”

On Tuesday over 100 people gathered outside the gallery to protest at what they said was vandalism, Agence-French Press reported.

Letitia Reid, a housewife from Glasgow, told AFP the Bible should not be desecrated.
“As a Christian I am offended by this because Christians hold the Bible to be sacred. For it to be publicly defiled in this way is very offensive,” she said.



















Jane Clarke, the artist, asked visitors to annotate the Bible with their experiences, but she has requested the gallery to display it in a glass case after it was daubed with “offensive” comments.

The piece, called Untitled 2009, caused a furore when it went on display in the Made In God’s Image exhibition at Glasgow’s Gallery of Modern Art.

Miss Clarke, a minister at the Metropolitan Community Church, a ministry for homosexuals, said she had not intended to offend.

“I had hoped that people would show respect for the Bible, for Christianity and indeed for the Gallery of Modern Art. I am saddened that some people have chosen to write offensive messages. I had hoped that people would show respect for the Bible, for Christianity and indeed for the Gallery of Modern Art. I am saddened that some people have chosen to write offensive messages.”

Paper and pens will be provided for visitors to write down their thoughts and will be inserted into the Bible later. More than 100 people gathered outside the gallery yesterday to protest against the exhibit.

Made in God’s Image will be on display at the gallery until August 22, 2009

Magnify

This song was written by my friend Mike Wilshire back in the early 1970's. It is one of my favorite songs of all time. Mike moved to Virginia a long time ago and has been the Pastor of Cornerstone Christian Church of Roanoke Valley since it's founding. He is an excellent guitarist and at one time a wonderful vocalist. By the way, as you watch the photos, Michael is the guy with the white hair and beard.

This version was recorded by Rick Marksberry in his studio. Kent Odor sings lead vocal and plays 2nd guitar. I sing first harmony and play the 1st guitar part and play bass guitar. Deny Brigance and Diann Marksberry sing the higher harmony parts. Barb & Ric Hine, Deny Brigance, Diann & Rick Marksberry, Terry Fisher and myself are the choir at the end of the song.

May God bless as you listen and watch us record.

Taking Down A Post

Yesterday I was contacted by someone who objected to a post that I had put up earlier this year. The discussion took place via email. After all we are in the 21st Century. This is the second time since I've started blogging that someone has contacted me to object to an article that I have written.


The first time was when a Cincinnati City Beat editor objected to what I had said regarding the advertisements for Asian massage parlors that used to take up ink on that back pages of that newspaper.


What precipitated that rant was a raid earlier in that week in which the local police, FBI and immigration department rounded up girls working in southern Ohio, Northern Kentucky and Southern Indiana.

The girls that had been arrested were illegal and were not paid by their employer but were allowed to keep much of the money they earned from selling sexual favors.. I equated this to slavery and implied that the newspaper ads were not much different from the slave bills posted in the early and mid 1800's. This was not at all pleasing to the City Beat guy. Although they still run advertisements, they now have some sort of a disclaimer that must be posted in the text of the ad. Apparently I must have been on to something.

Last Saturday, I received an email from someone that I had written about. This person was quite upset with the text I had written and we traded emails back and forth this day.

My point was an objection to the content and the timing of the work. During the exchange of emails the objector reasoned with me and explained that some of my words were construed as hurtful.

That was a very valid point. Although I still object to the timing of the work, I took the post down.

In the United States we are fond of standing on Constitutional grounds and bellowing that we have the right to free speech. And that is a very, very important right, especially when you look at recent World events in Iran and China. However as Christians do we have the right to say hurtful things?

However true it may be, the work I objected to was hurtful to a family and especially to an individual and their friends. But the text and images in that work were not mine. My concern was only that something I said was hurtful. Perhaps I could have reworded my post to give a more fair and balanced viewpoint. I felt the easiest thing was to take down my words rather than dance on a precipice between right and wrong.

In accord with the words of Our Lord in Matthew 18:5; And if thy brother sin against thee, go, show him his fault between thee and him alone: if he hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

Issac Watts Hymns

These days at church we sing all these new choruses and praise songs that are designed to bring us into the 21st Century. I guess they became popular during the Jesus Movement Era and the Charismatic Days. Then they blossomed when the Vineyard started composing it's own music.

Historically nothing has changed. Hymns of praise have been written according to the style of a given era. And although music styles change, the message remains the same.

Larry Norman sang, "I ain't knockin' the old hymns. Just give me a song with a beat."

I happen to love the old hymns. Although my family wasn't particularly interested in church, I gravitated to it. And the magnetic pull was the music. As a seven year old kid, I'd ride my bike up to the local church at 7 pm each Thursday night for choir practice with Mrs. Rief. That's were I first learned two part harmony. I sang with the local Episcopal Church choir throughout high school. And my old buddy Kent Odor's love for hymns rubbed off on me back when we played music together.

Music appreciation in school taught me to seek out the where and why behind music. Learning about the composers of our best loved hymns helps to learn why they wrote the words and sometimes the tunes. They had to write them, they couldn't keep their love of God bottled up inside.

I thank my sweet daughter for giving me a couple of books about the origin of hymns. The next couple blogs will be about some of the hymn writers and their works.

I am starting off with Issac Watts.

Issac Watts was considered the father of hymnody. Isaac Watts (17 July 1674 – 25 November 1748) is recognised as the "Father of English Hymnody", as he was the first prolific and popular English hymnwriter, credited with some 750 hymns. Many of his hymns remain in active use today and have been translated into many languages.

As a child he was a prodigious poet, to the point that he drove his parents to distraction. His father was a non-conformist. Which meant he did not hold the same theological viewpoints as the Church of England. At that time in history, this was a crime punishable by incarceration. Issac Watts Senior was incarcerated several times during his lifetime for his faith.

His son was brought up with the same Christian ideals and held to them throughout his lifetime. Issac was sent to a private school, but was unable to complete his education at Oxford or Cambridge due to his dissenting views. He attended the Dissenting School were he studied Latin, Hebrew and Greek.

He left school at age 20 and moved back to his family home. It was there that he wrote most of the work called Hymns and Spiritual Songs. Watts then to a position as pastor of a large independent chapel in London for many years known as Mark Lane Chapel. It was during this period when he wrote many hymns. During his lifetime over 750 hymns were attributed to Watts.

At this point in history all hymn lyrics were based on the Psalms or other Biblical poetry. Watts contribution to hymnody was to use poetic lyrics to praise God. This was unheard of and most controversial. In his own words;

"While he granted that David [to whom authorship of the Psalms is traditionally ascribed] was unquestionably a chosen instrument of God, Watts claimed that his religious understanding could not have fully apprehended the truths later revealed through Jesus Christ. The Psalms should therefore be "renovated". As if David had been a Christian, or as Watts put it in the title of his 1719 metrical psalter, they should be "imitated in the language of the New Testament. The practice of maintaining Biblical lyrics in hymns grew from the 16th Century reformation lead by John Calvin. By introducing new poetry into hymns, Watts created a schism that labeled him as a heretic.

The controversy grew. Watts health was failing. He moved in with a family named Hartropp. A fever shattered his constitution and a nervousebreakdown breakdown ensued. Watts wrote a letter resigning his position as pastor. His church instead rejected his resignation, lessened his duties by giving them to a co-pastor and increased Watts’ salary.

Watts had already been privately instructing the children of a prominent Member of Parliament, Sir Thomas Abbney. Abbney was Lord Mayor of London and though he had to attend The Church of England to keep up appearances, Abbney was a non-conformist.
Watts was invited to live with the family to conveless. Upon the death of Sir Thomas, Watts stayed on as a member of the family and lived in a second home of the Abbneys until his death in 1748.

It was during his residence with the Abbney family that Watt wrote a book of hymns based on the Psalms known as The Psalms of David Imitated in the Language of the New Testament. This was a result of the controversy and Watts way of establishing resolve. The works were published and became very popular.

In 1728 Watts was awarded a Doctorate of Divinity by the University of Edinburgh.


Aside from being a noted theologian and hymnist, Watts was also a logican and author of several textbooks on logic. In fact one of his texts, aptly named Logic, was a standard text at Cambridge, Oxford, Havard and Yale for over a 100 years beyond his death.


Look through any hymnal and you will see Watts authorship for many of the hymns that we have sung since we were children. Among my favorites are When I Survey That Wondrous Cross, Joy to the World, Great Is the Lord Our God, Alas! and Did My Savior Bleed, Oh Bless The Lord My Soul.

I find it odd that although Watts wrote so many wonderful words of praise in later life joined a Unitarian congregation.

Since nothing really changes in life, Watts popularity of the day lead to parody.
Watts wrote a book of hymns for children and one the hymns, known as Against Idleness And Mischief went:

How doth the little busy bee
Improve each shining hour,
And gather honey all the day
From every opening flower!

How skilfully she builds her cell!
How neat she spreads the wax!
And labours hard to store it well
With the sweet food she makes.

Lewis Carroll was a contempory and had written Alice in Wonderland. In this book
Carroll wrote a parody of Watt's hymn and giving it the name, How Doth The Little Crocodile:

How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!


It may be helpful to know that Lewis Carroll was the penname of Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson who was also an Anglican deacon, mathimetician, logican and philospopher.

The Waving Guy

My sister-in-law's brother has a large family. So I suppose by virtue of marriage I am somehow related to the waving guy as he is the son of my sister-in-laws brother.

I've known Brent since he was a little guy. He's a nice kid. He was going to the local university for a while. He works at a nearby restaurant. Brent was my nephew's best friend for many years, until my nephew moved away and got married.

Recently his folks became very concerned about this behavior. My own Mother mentioned to me, "Something is wrong with Brent and his family is concerned. He walks up and down the street waving at cars. He's nuts." This was the consensus among the rest of the family.

Brent walks up and down U.S. 27 waving at passing cars and yelling, "You're Awesome."

You may not be aware but in some parts of rural Kentucky, it is very acceptable to wave at passing cars.

My wife's parents lived in California, Kentucky, which is about 30 miles from here as the crow flies.

If I gave directions to their old home I would tell you to head south about 10 miles, then turn left and drive to the Sticks. When you finally arrive in the Sticks, if the weather is nice you drive past people sitting on their front porch or on their tractors and they will wave at you.

Even if the car was driven by Fidel Castro with Hitler, Bin Laden and Mousolini as passengers, these nice country folks would still wave. The proper protocol is for you to wave back. They do this because they are afraid you may be someone they know or kin to someone they know and they do not want to give the appearance of being impolite. It probably is the norm in other parts of rural America.

So my family was very concerned about Brent's behavior. I wish they would have sought my advice. For I lived through the 1960's and early 1970's and consider myself an expert on this subject. Brent is not sick. Brent is a Hippie.

The newspaper report from yesterday confirmed my diagnosis. Brent has changed his name to Karma Jen Soulace. He states that his philosophy is to fight evil with a smile and wave.

This changed personality reminds me of folks that lived around the University of Cincinnati and used to hang around Eden Park. During Summerfair colonies of these folks emerged. They all smelled of patchouli and burning hemp. They ate a macrobiotic diet which kept them looking malnourished. Usually they were named Sunshine, Rainbow or Moon boy. They were all Hippies. Sounds like Brent, doesn't it?

Poor Brent was born about 40 years out of sync with his people.

Most of the hippies eventually got whacked in the head with reality, went back to school and got a job in marketing or as stock brokers. So Brent's folks need not worry. He will turn out alright.


In the meantime, Keep on truckin' Brent.

Do It Yourself CD Cover and Insert

So you got your Jesus House CD at the reunion or through the mail and you are thinking, boy I sure wish this came with an album cover.

Well Sparky, this is your lucky day. Here at Blogalot Industries, our head designer Linny O'Hara came up with an album cover using Rick Mapes photo of the Jesus House. Since the CD was a do-it-yourself sort of project, why should the CD cover not be any different?

Step One. Get a couple of blank CD's in jewel cases.

Step Two. Download this picture by clicking on it. It should be 4.75" x 5.5". If it isn't you will have to adjust it to those specs when printing. Be sure to make a copy for each CD case. Cut out your pictures and insert in the jewel cases.

Step Three. Download this picture by clicking on it. Ditto on the 4.75" x 5.5" specs. This can be used for the inside of the jewel case or the back.



Step Four. Enjoy.

Step Five. When you download your CD, why not download the pictures?

For an alternative use get some of those iron-on thingies, enlarge the pictures and make your very own JH Reunion T-Shirt.

And as an added bonus...In the spirit of Where's Waldo?, the collage has a similar game called Where's Fisher's Hightop Sneakers? See if you can find them.