Obituary for a Well Known Old Friend

We are mourning the loss of a beloved old friend who recently passed away. His name was Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United States from a vicious, contagious disease.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes and factories, helping folks get the jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, frivolous lawsuits and ludicrous verdicts held no power over Common Sense.

He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by a simple and sound financial policy: Don't spend more than you earn. Common Sense also lived by other time-tested strategies like: The adults are in charge and not the kids, and it's OK to come in second or third.

A veteran of the Great Depression and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends such as body piercing, "whole language" and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "I'm not responsible for my own actions" and "It's alright if it feels good" viruses. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a 6-year-old charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

He declined further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents or get their permission when their children were given mind-altering drugs or birth control pills.

Common Sense lost his will to live when criminals received better treatment than their victims, the Ten Commandments became contraband, and priests molested young boys.

When a president sold security-related technology to a hostile nation, Common Sense fell into a coma. As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of consciousness. When the so-called religious of the nation were revealed as perverts, when the court system allowed obvious murderers and pedophiles to walk free because of their wealth and celebrity, when our nation was attacked by foriegn invaders and over 3000 innocents were executed on a September morning and scores others injured and then we sent our military to put down the enemy, but cries rang out from whiners and politicians that we had no right to put these invaders in their place, that this was an unjust war, Common Sense died of sudden cardiac arrest.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Love; his daughter, Responsibility; and his sons, Diligence and Reason. Survivors include relatives he'd rather not claim: Deception, Greed and Ignorance.

Not many attended his funeral because so few noticed he was gone.